Alone and in My Body

“If there is a place, a soul, a being, a person, a cosmic reality out there beyond this world—

guide my lungs, guide my lips, that they breathe truth and speak life into those around me.”

“Alone and In My Body” is out everywhere on November 21

I am struggling to understand the correlation between that which I desire and that which I know is right. And then I struggle with the understanding of what “right” actually means. Why can I follow the same belief as millions, where their desires lead them to joy, happiness, and everything I am not allowed to experience? What is belief, but a choice at the end of the day? Belief has always been my metronome, my guide. 

A metronome, I like that. 

It is said that the metronome brings me freedom. Freedom from straying from that which a piece of music is written for, and only for. 

This reminds me of learning about various freedoms while in formation at a younger age: freedoms to and freedoms from. Which is correct? Shall we be free to do, or shall we be free from the things that are said to enslave us to the world, to awaken us to the world? What does it mean to be awake to the light? Or to lie awake with someone in darkness? What is light? How is it perceived? Is perception reality? Is adoption of an answer a surrender to my own intellect? Will I then be free? 

Who am I even talking to at this point lol. 

Who am i.

Does trusting lead me away from myself if I am not sure of who I am at the end of the day? I am not strong, so if something strong presented itself, would I run to it and cling? Is that trust? To be so desperate to hang on to something that I know could exist without me? 

If there is a place, a soul, a being, a person, a cosmic reality out there beyond this world - guide my lungs, guide my lips, that they breathe truth and speak life into those around me. If I am experiencing difficulty in this life, privileged as I may be, someone else must be experiencing it worse. Guide me to encounter every person who walks this Earth as someone worthy of being talked to gently, and with the utmost respect. Help me listen in the ways I’ve never been listened to. In my weakness, bring strength. Strength that only you may provide. Strength that is not of this world.

I trust you, I guess.

Only you.

-s

date unknown