Am I a rebound?

Insane text out of the blue today. I don’t think my jaw has dropped lower and faster than when I received this text. “Life’s been rough,” it said. “I miss you,” it said. Oh, and you want to meet up? Oh?? 

OH?

As if I haven’t spent months trying to remove you from my brain. As if the boundary I set was actually never existent to begin with. What was written in pen now, apparently, needs to be traced in Sharpie. 

I feel angry. Am I a rebound? Should I put a peace to this turmoil once and for all? Is this a cry for help? Why cry to me? Because I know you well? Too well, I’m afraid. Is it bad I’m happy for them? I think it’s for the best. I also worked my own ass off, and still am, with whatever ass I have left. All those nights I was lonely, depressed, anxious, afraid. I had to learn how to deal with it, now it’s your turn. I’m not holding your hand through this, I tried that once, don’t you remember?

My empathy is a privilege, not a right. 

-s

PS my therapist called it “being an emotional vampire.” I kind of love that lol.

date unknown