imperfect creature

Life has been nothing short of surprises lately. I’m learning to love life, but also understand what makes me love it, simply by acknowledging when I am feeling happy or fulfilled without the art of justification. 

First, let me describe where I’m at, lol. I am currently lying in meadow of wildflowers on a peninsula between a river and a bay. A quiet oasis from the city on the other side of the bay. There are bees pollinating the flowers, and butterflies surrounding me.

I recently had an experience where I felt no bigger or smaller than I did before. Instead, I felt an awareness. I felt one with all I ever had been and could be. That while I am here on this Earth, I am allowed to live and love, feel and be, and be happy at that. I no longer felt rejected by the world, but that the world was a beautiful, tangible place filled with beautiful, tangible people. And I want to live and encounter the beauty of it constantly. It is ecstasy, it is peace, it is fulfillment. 

Where I used to rely on external validation, I know I don’t need to be validated at all because I am an inherently imperfect creature who is beautifully made in an imperfect world. Which means I’m allowed to slow down and smell the flowers when things go awry. I should lay in a fucking meadow more often.

-s

date unknown