Have I become too self aware?

Well, the wedding hath ensued, with so much spoken and unspoken emotion. It’s obvious the attendants do not handle conflict well; as usual, I wasn’t involved. But it makes me wonder how the reaction will be when I drop my own bomb that is sure to have the Facebook moms talking. 

I’ve been understanding what healing looks like more and more, I guess by experiencing it in real time. It has been so fulfilling, yet so scary. It is wild to think how things have changed so much in the past year, and how that has been the result of intentional decisions on my part. The life I was living. The life I was hiding. The life I didn’t know how to live. 

It’s strange how much you can learn to love yourself by removing yourself from the situation that felt strangely good, for such little time, and even less effort. I find myself at a place not far down the path that I chose at the crossroads. I knew where the path would lead and how it would change my life, and yet each step is just as difficult as the last. 

Have I become too self aware? 

-s

date unknown